I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
