Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish you could order shots online.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize