You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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