I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
