Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
