apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
