I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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