At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
