lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
