Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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