i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
