but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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