your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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