Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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