we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
