...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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