Me too!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
