just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
