My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The uberlube is also flammable
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
