you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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