I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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