Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You don't make any sense
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