Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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