yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She said her name was "party"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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