Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize