you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this just has baby written all over it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We are two peas in an std pod
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
