HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
