Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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