he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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