I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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