Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
