Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
