I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
