She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
