I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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