I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
