My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
