Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
