is your mom at the bar?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My vagina is very pro this idea
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
