one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
