Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
