Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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