We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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