Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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