suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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