Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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