around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
