hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize