In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize