this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
