Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
