Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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