ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
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You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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