My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
