therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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