yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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