you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
