discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
