I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
