Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your cock deserves a montage
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
