You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
