I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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