I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
