How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
