stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i've created a new STD.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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